I want to tell you a story, it's called..

The story of the young woman that bumped her head

Once upon a time there was a young woman that bumped her head. When the young woman awoke from the bump, she had lost all her memories. She could see that she was fairly far pregnant, but she had no idea who the father of her unborn child was.

After a month or two, the young woman gave birth to her child. One day, when the child was about five years old they asked their Mum, "Who is my father?" The mother, determined to answer the child's question decided to make it her life's work to find out. She sent people far and wide to spread the word that she was looking for the father of her child. Before long, men started arriving at her door claiming to be the one. Some seemed too fantastical to be true, others were more plausible and stuck around for a while, but eventually they all appeared to be hoaxes.

One day a man arrived at the door and said, "I'm here because I'm the child's father." The mother, wary after thousands of men that came before him looked at the man defiantly and said, "prove it!".

The man said simply, "Let us agree first that there must be a father. There is no way that you could have conceived that child by yourself, correct?". The woman hesitated at this for a while, she'd never thought about it that way before. "Perhaps there is no father, perhaps I did conceive the child myself." she said, "After all, there have been many men that claimed to be the father before you, and it never turned out to be true."

The man sighed and went on to explain to the woman the science of how a child is created in the womb. He spoke so convincingly that eventually she admitted that there simply was not enough evidence to prove that there was not a father.

To which the man smiled and said, "You see, you admit that you cannot prove that there is not a father..." he paused, then proclaimed triumphantly, Therefore... I must be the father!"

And they all lived happily ever after.

This is the religious argument I get from theists time and again. I describe this (in Latin, because Latin rocks) as Quia Deus Ergo Mea Deus which translates loOsely as Because there is a god, therefore it must be my god.

This is a nonsensical argument.

I will happily admit to any theist that there could possibly be a divine creator. I admit this, because while I don't believe there is one, I certainly am not arrogant enough to say that I know for a fact (we don't, yet). I also admit this because this argument is futile.

You see, I may not be sure that there is no god, but I'm 100% certain that it's not yours. I don't need you to prove to me that there could be a creator, I just need you to take a paternity test.

You see, it turns out your god (of whichever denomination you follow) is not the first claimant to the throne.

Throughout history it is estimated that man has worshiped over thousands of different gods. Over time, these beliefs have fallen away and new ones have emerged. You and I both reject literally a thousand gods as false... I simply reject a thousand and one.

Even today there are hundreds of gods worshiped the world over. So you can understand why your assertion that there must be a god fails to fulfill your burden of proof that it's your one. I'm afraid you have to get a little smarter than that.

Look, don't be upset by this though. If all I had as proof was the flawed tomes you have to work with, I'd also be looking for a loop hole...!